Friday, October 19, 2007

What Did I Tell YOU?!?!

Look up at the top of this blog. I started this blog because it was clear that Dancing Dick Jauron's inept coaching would necessarily lead to a move of the Bills franchise to Toronto (unless, of course, he was fierd).

Well, look at THIS.

BfloBlog has a good take, although they place blame on the wrong parties, which, in case you were wondering, is anyone other than Dick.

I am also blaming this on Dick.

That is all.


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A moment away from bitterness...

Is in order, if this can be believed.

Kevin Everett apparently was able to walk for a short period of time with the help of a specialized walker and can manipulate, and move in, a wheelchair. This is obviously tremendous news and is yet another laurel for the folks at Houston's Memorial Hermann Hospital and at the Miami project. As much as we like to shit on Dick Jauron around here, it's hard to be anything other than hopeful and excited for Mr. Everett and hope that he has not only a recovery, but a full recovery. I mean, at this point, he could fill in at ILB for the Bills, couldln't he?

Oh, I forgot Coy Wire is back this week.

Seriously, get well-er, Kevin.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Buffalo Bills - A Litany of Futility

A lot of people have come to this site from a Buffalo Bils forum called Stadium Wall. Welcome!

In one of the threads, a member named "SCBuffBillsFan" posted an excellent litany of all of the heartbreaking and boneheaded losses the Bills have suffered over the past 10 years. I had forgotten, or never realized in the first place, about 10 of these. They are presented below for your perusal and enjoyment (if you're not a Bills fan).

Some would say that you can't blame all of these on Dick Jauron since he wasn't the Bills coach for the lions' share of them. Those people clearly are deluded members of the "reality-based community". Like the Bush administration, I make my own reality.



10/08/07 - COWBOYS 25 BILLS 24 - Bills turn over Tony Romo 6 times, return 2 INTs and a kickoff for touchdowns, stop a last-ditch two point conversion, and then lose when Dallas recovers an onsides kick with 20 seconds left and kicks a 50+ yard field goal with two seconds left

09/09/07 - BRONCOS 15 BILLS 14 - In a game in which the Bills never trailed, they lose on a "fire drill" field goal with one second left.


12/24/06 - TITANS 30 BILLS 20 - In Orchard Park, Vince Young runs wild, the Titans kick a field goal with 2:10 left to take a one point lead. The game ends when JP Losman throwing an INT on 4th and 5 from the Tennessee 28 yard line with one minute left, after the Bills forego the 43 yard field goal attempt due to wind.

12/12/06 - COLTS 17 BILLS 16 - Down one to the Colts in Indy, Rian Lindell misses a 41 yard field with 6:30 left. Peyton Manning never gives the Bills the ball back and runs out the clock.

09/10/06 - PATRIOTS 19 BILLS 17 - On the road to open the season, the Bills return a Brady INT for a TD on first play of game, and lead for most of the game. Then the Patriots take the lead on a *safety* by sacking Losman with six minutes left. After the free kick, Donte Whinter records an INT on the first play. The Bills proceed to go three-and-out from their own 44, punt with 6:20 to go and never see the ball again.


01/01/06 - JETS 30 BILLS 26 - In a meaningless game at home, the Jets score on a Kelly Holcomb INT for a TD and then take the lead with a Justin Miller KR for a TD with 6 minutes left. Holcomb takes Bills to the Jets 34 with with 3 minutes left before being sacked on 4th and 10. Holcomb then throws an INT on the desperation drive with 50 seconds left.

12/04/05 - DOLPHINS 24 BILLS 23 - In Miami, Lee Evans scores 3 TD's in the first quarter. Losman only completes one more pass to Lee Evans for the rest of the game. Chris Chambers catches 15 passes for 238 yards, including the game-winning TD as Sage Rosenfels in relief for Gus Frerotte takes the Fish 73 yards with 1:51 left.

11/27/05 - PANTHERS 13 BILLS 9 - Bills take a 9-6 lead at home with 5 minutes left. Future Buffalo Bill Michael Gaines scores the GW TD with 2:21 left. With 47 seconds left, on 3rd and 10 from the Carolina 43, JP Losman throws a game-ending INT.

10/30/05 - PATRIOTS 21 BILLS 16 – The Bills take a 16-7 lead with ten minutes left. The Patriots take just two minutes and 11 seconds to score a TD to pull within two points. On the next drive, Holcomb fumbles, and the Patriots need just one play to take the lead. With two minutes left, on 4th and 8 from the New England 40, a pass to Moulds gets no gain.

10/02/05 – SAINTS 16 BILLS 7 Buffalo nearly retakes the first half lead in the final seconds of when Terrence McGee returned the ensuing kickoff 82 yards, crisscrossing the field and ducking through defenders before he was finally tripped up on a weak tackle attempt inside the Saints 5 after time expired. Saints stuffed Willis McGahee on fourth-and-inches, taking possession for a drive that would lead to Carney's third field goal, making it 16-7 with 5 minutes left.


01/02/05 - STEELERS 29 BILLS 24 - In a home game to secure their first playoff birth in years, against a Steelers team playing 2nd and 3rd stringers, some guy named Willie Parker runs 19 times for 102 yards. The Bills never even come close to winning.

10/10/04 - JETS 16 BILLS 14 - On the road in New York, the Bills score 14 4th Quarter points to take the lead with 6 minutes left. The Jets' Doug Brien kicks a 38 yard field goal with 1 minute left. The game ends with Drew Bledsoe's Hail Mary being intercepted in a game that ultimately cost the Bills a playoff spot.

10/03/04 - PATRIOTS 31 BILLS 17 - At home and down 7 with three minutes left, the Bills are driving at the New England 17, when Drew Bledsoe is sacked and the Patriots return the fumble for a TD in a game that ultimately costs the Bills a playoff spot.

09/12/04 - JAGUARS 13 BILLS 10 - In Orchard Park and down 4 points with two minutes left, the Jaguars get the ball at their own 20 with one time out. On 4th and Goal from the 7 with four seconds left, Byron Leftwich hits Ernest Wilford in the back of the end zone - who somehow hangs on to the GW TD in a game that ultimately cost the Bills a playoff spot.


12/14/03 - TITANS 28 BILLS 26 - Billy Volek has a big game in Nashville. Drew Bledsoe hits Mark Campbell for a TD with 26 seconds left, but the two-point conversion fails and the Titans recover the onsides kick. This ends the playoff hopes in a season that began with the 31-0 thumping of the Patriots in the Lawyer Milloy Bowl.

11/23/03 - COLTS 17 BILLS 14 - Bills take a 14-3 lead into the 4th quarter in Orchard Park. The Bills stuff the Colts on three plays after first-and-goal from the 3. Colts punch it in on 4th and Goal from the 1 with 1:42 left and convert the two-point conversion for a three point lead. From the Buffalo 46, Drew Bledsoe throws an INT with 42 seconds left. Their third crushing loss in three weeks and their second at home.

11/16/03 - TEXANS 12 BILLS 10 - In Orchard Park, the Texans take a 12-8 lead with 3:28 left. On the first play after the two minute warning, the Bills have 1st and 10 from the Houston 31. Drew Bledsoe is sacked and fumbles. The Texans take an intentional safety to end the game, giving the Bills two safeties in the game.

11/09/03 - COWBOYS 10 BILLS 3 - In Dallas, Quincy Carter takes a four point lead into the 4th quarter. With four minutes left, the Cowboys' kicker pooch punts the ball into the end zone from the Buffalo 32 for a 12 yard net punt. The Bills proceed to go three-and-out, including an own-recovered Travis Henry fumble. Getting the ball with 2:50 to play, Adrian Murrell runs the ball down our throats to end the game.

09/28/03 - EAGLES 23 BILLS 13 - Down 3 points at home with 2:50 left, the Bills are using their timeouts on defense to try and get the ball back. The Eagles get one first down through the air, and then Brian Westbrook scores on a 62 yard TD to all-but ice the game. On a desperation drive, down 10 with 1 minute left, Drew Bledsoe is flushed out of the pocket on 4th and 8 and proceeds to throw the ball away out-of-bounds! Good grief!

09/21/03 - DOLPHINS 17 BILLS 7 - In Miami, the Bills are down 10 to 3 with 6:43 to play. Getting the ball at their own 34, they run for two yards, have a false start, and a Drew Bledsoe sack. On 3rd and 19, the pass is incomplete. Miami then rips off a three minute drive, when the Bills appear to stuff Ricky Williams on 3rd and Goal from the 1 on the first play after the two minute warning. A booth review is called, and Miami is given the TD and a 10 point lead. Down 10 with 1:48 to play from their own 20 with one timeout, Drew Bledsoe manages to drive to the Miami 24.


11/17/02 - CHIEFS 17 BILLS 16 - In Kansas City, the Chiefs take a one point lead with five minutes to go. Five plays later, the Bills have 2nd and 10 at the KC 40 when Drew Bledsoe throws an INT on a deep pass towards the end zone. The Chiefs take the ball with 4:15 to play and proceed to run out the clock.

09/08/02 - JETS 37 BILLS 31 - The Bills tie the season-opener at home with a Bledsoe-to-Moulds TD pass with 26 seconds left. They lose in OT as Justin Miller takes the opening kickoff of overtime for a touchdown.


12/16/01 - PATRIOTS 12 BILLS 9 - In one of the great ironies of football history, a Bills team that will finish 3-13 takes a Patriots team that will win the Super Bowl to the wire, ending up holding Tom Brady to 19 of 35 passing in Orchard Park. The Patriots tie the game with 2:50 left. Alex Van Pelt then proceeds to lead the Bills on a three-and-out. With 1:50 left, the Patriots get the ball at their own 13 and advance to their own 45 with one minute left. The Bills sniff out a screen for -2, nearly get an interception, and finally Schobel sacks Brady to end the threat. With 22 seconds left at their own 16, the Bills unwisely try to make something happen. Alex Van Pelt fumbles, but the Bills recover to thankfully get to OT. In OT, the Bills advance to their own 48, but throw an incomplete pass on 3rd and 2 and punt. The Patriots are then at their own 46 when David Patten catches a pass, is knocked silly by Keion Carpenter, and fumbles. Nate Clements recovers, and advances the ball into Patriots territory. On replay review, however, David Patten's head rolls out of bounds while his body is touching the football. By rule, the ball is out-of-bounds and New England retains possession. Two plays later, NE kicks the winning FG. Had the Bills won, New England would not have made the playoffs (let alone won the Super Bowl), Bill Belichick would have been a lifetime .500 football Head Coach, and the world would have been a very different place.

11/25/01 - DOLPHINS 34 BILLS 27 - In Buffalo, the Fish score 24 points in the 4th Quarter. The Fish score a TD with 4:15 left, and the Bills proceed to go three-and-out, with an incomplete pass on 2nd down, and a completed pass short to Larry Centers on third down. Olindo Mare kicks a 39 yarder with 1:17 left, and Nate Clements fumbles the ensuing kickoff. Three plays later, the Fish have a seven point lead. Alex Van Pelt gets the ball with 43 seconds and two timeouts, but is unable to seriously threaten.

11/11/01 - PATRIOTS 21 BILLS 11 - Antowain Smith ices the game with a 42-yard TD run with three minutes left.

10/28/01 - CHARGERS 27 BILLS 24 - Doug Flutie scores on a GW 13 yard TD run with one minute left.


12/17/00 - PATRIOTS 13 BILLS 10 (OT) - In Foxboro, the Patriots kick the game-winner with 19 seconds left in OT. The Patriots finish 5-11, the Bills finish 8-8.

12/11/00 - COLTS 44 BILLS 20 - In Indy, with both teams at 7-6 with three games left, Wade Phillips says that "both teams are basically out of it." The Colts win their last three and make the playoffs.

10/01/00 - COLTS 18 BILLS 16 - In Buffalo, Mike Vanderjagt hits a 45-yard game winner as time expires.


01/08/00 - TITANS 22 BILLS 16 Music City Miracle and last Buffalo playoff game.


01/02/99 - DOLPHINS 24 BILLS 17 (PLAYOFFS) - A complicated tiebreaker forces the Bills to play this game in unseasonably warm weather in Miami. The run out of gas as the Dolphins end the magical "Flutie Year" in Buffalo. Of course, by all rights, the game should have been at Ralph Wilson stadium....

11/29/98 - PATRIOTS 25 BILLS 21 - In the game at Foxboro that would bring instant replay back to the NFL, on 4th down, Drew Bledsoe of the Patriots throws a pass that is caught out-of-bounds and short of the first down marker. Bills players later report hearing one referee telling the other "just give it to them." The game was seemingly over when Bledsoe's Hail Mary to the endzone fell incomplete. The referees, however, called a ticky-tack pass interference penalty on Buffalo, even though instant replays would show a Bills defender being mugged by a Patriots WR in the Hail Mary scrum in the end zone. The Patriots are awarded one untimed play, on which they score the game-winning TD. In protest, Wade Phillips refuses to contest the extra point, and the Patriots walk the snap in for an uncontested two point conversion.

09/20/98 - RAMS 34 BILLS 33 - Tony Banks scores on a 2 yard run with 10 seconds left.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

To Sum Up...

Some readers, well, one reader anyway, thought that this post was too long and ask, "so what's your point"?

My point is this:

Dick Jauron got his job with the Lions because he and the owner of the Lions are members of the same shadowy Yale secret society - the Wolf's Head Society. He got his job with the Bills because Marv Levy, a Harvard man liked Jauron's Ivy League connections.

Also, Dick Jauron eats baby kittens.

That is all (bye week).


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Continuing Story of Buffalo Dick

So..... this was supposed to have gone up last night (and this morning, but as Reagan once said, it's [always] morning in america), but I had to take some more time to refine the timeline..... What follows is a Magical Mystery Tour, the Long and Winding Road, if you will of how Dick Jauron, all evidence to the contrary, has been able to get and keep a head coaching job, With a Little Help from his Friends....

Recall, that Dick was a very successful college scatback and professional DB and kick returner. It's not every moderately succesful player who gets a shot at becoming a defensive coordinator, however, let alone a head coach. By the way, while at Yale, Dick was a member of the shadowy (and less influential than the Skull and Bones club) Wolf's Head Society.

He played for the Lions from '73-'77, making the pro bowl in '74. He finished his career with the Bengals in '80.

In 1980 when he finished his career, Hank Bullough was the Bengals' defensive coordinator. Bullough, of course, presided over one of the worst seasons in Bills' history in 1985, leading the team to a 2-14 record. Guess who was the defensive backs coach for the Bills that year? Dick Jauron.

Jauron was canned along with the rest of the Bullough regime after '85 when Marvelous Marv Levy and Bill Polian came in and rebuilt the Bills (Jim Kelly had something to do with that as well).

Jauron moved on to the Packers in '86 where again he presided over the DBs for 8 years. I can't find a direct link between the coaching staff for the Packers then and Jauron in the past - Forrest Gregg was the Packers coach when Jauron was hired and he stayed on for the Lindy Infante era. He left an up and coming Packers team to take the defensive coordinator position for the brand new Jacksonville Jaguars in '95 working under head coach (and similarly conservative minded) Tom Coughlin.

Jacksonville was relatively successful for a new franchise, going 4-12 in its first year, but making the playoffs in the next four years. Jauron's defense, however, was not a particularly impressive part of that record. His D was second from last in points scored against in '95, second from last in yards allowed in '96 and 6th worst in yards allowed in '97, 9th worst in yards allowed in '98.

Jauron interviewed for head coaching jobs, and the story of how he got the Bears job is amazing.

According to this story, Jauron was the second choice for the Bears' job in '99 (after Dave McInnis), (just as he was when the Bills hired him), and he only ended up the coach because of a PR snafu. The Bears announced McGinnis as a coach apparently before they told McGinnis that he had been hired. Hilarity ensued and Dick Jauron, the second choice, was named coach.

Jauron took some time developing his own mystique, going 6-10 and 5-11 his first season. The decision to take Cade McNown first in '99 was a mistake as he held out and was a non-factor in '99 (Shane Matthews was the starter for most of that year). This mistake was compounded by faulty decisions in free agency (not necessarily Jauron's fault as Mark Hatley was the GM at the time), and misplaced confidence in Curtis Enis (yikes) and Shane Matthews.

Meanwhile, the Bears lucked into Urlacher in that draft (they had been trying to trade up to select Plaxico Burress), but Jauron insisted on trying to give the QB job back to Cade McNown, showcasing bad judgement. McNown would be out of the league permanently following that season). Eventually he was compelled to switch to Jim Miller who did well in limited action until he blew out his achilles. At that point, McCown took the reins again and led the Bears to a horrible finish. Jauron agreed at the end of the season that McCown was not the man for the job.

Somehow, Jauron's team went 13-3 in 2001. If you look behind the stats, you will see that the Bears were extremely lucky, winning every close game, including two in overtime, that Jerry Angelo made some excellent decisions upon becoming GM before the season, and also that, perhaps, perhaps, Dick Jauron's players rallied around him (it was widely speculated that Angelo wanted to install his own coach).

Overall though, 2001 was a season of serendipity for the Bears, incredibly timely Mike Brown INT returns, missed field goals by Jason Hansen of the Lions which allowed the Bears to win the NFC North division. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, the Bears got blown out of the playoffs by the Eagles.

That was Jauron's one winning season as a head coach. He was fired in 2003 after 4-12 and 7-9 seasons.

Here is where it gets interesting (for those who have continued reading).

In 2004, after being fired by the Bears because, as Jerry Angelo said, "expectations were not met", he was hired by the Lions to be defensive coordinator. Matt Millen was the GM at that time (and, inexplicably, still is).

Remember, a few paragraphs back, I mentioned that while at Yale, Dick Jauron was a member of the Wolf's Head Society. Like frats, these secret societies have extensive contcts and reaches throughout society, and like the phrase "once a TKE, always a TKE", it's "once a wolf's head, always a wolf's head" (I'm paraphrasing).

Anyway, there have been many prominent Wolf's Head members through history (although seemingly always, people close to more famous people), Charles Taft, brother of William Howard Taft, our 27th president and Supreme Court justice, James Bush, great-great grandfather of W, and, one William Clay Ford, grandson of Henry Ford.

Did I mention that William Clay Ford purchased the Detroit Lions in 1964? And that he was active with the Lions organization well into the 2000s? And that his son, and current controlling owner of the Lions, William Clay Ford, Jr., was responsible for hiring Matt Millen and, yes, Dick Jauron? The same Dick Jauron who was a member of the same Yale secret society as William Clay Ford??

And, for the icing on the cake, of course Jauron failed miserably with the Lions, was canned after the 2005 season and was hired by the Bills, after being their second choice (note that Mike Sherman, who the Bills passed over in favor of Dick went 57-39 with the Packers before NOT getting the job with the Bills).

And how did Jauron land the job with the Bills? As much as it pains me as a huge fan of marvelous Marv, I need to blockquote the ESPN story linked above:

Jauron was favored by Levy, who maintains a home in Chicago and worked as a Bears broadcaster during Jauron's tenure with the team. Like Levy, who attended Harvard, Jauron is also a former Ivy-leaguer, a graduate of Yale

Emphasis added. Ugh.

The same story says that Saint Ralph wanted Sherman because, you know, he had been successful as a head coach.

Anyway. That is the story. One of connections, secret societies and misplaced Ivy League Loyalties ("ILL")

Yeah, perhaps Jauron is a decent motivator of talent. More likely, he's a well meaning guy who has personified the Peter Principle. One can only hope that this site and those like it will encourage Saint Ralph to realize he was right two years ago. This man ain't right for the job. He GOTS TO GO, yo.



For the lack of updates. I was doing what I hope Dick will be doing a lot of very soon - playing golf.

Anyway, tomorrow morning I will have the Saga of Dick Jauron the coach, including the surprising secret society connection that brought him back into the NFL coaching fold after he absolutely failed with the Bears*

*except for that 13-3 season. That was pretty good.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

GO UB Bulls

Glad to see there are some visitors from U.B. to the site. Thanks for stopping by. I went to high school at Williamsville North, so I'm sure you agree that our respective football teams were about equally talented.

Seriously though, GO Bulls.

Don't forget to sign the petition.

More tomorrow, including an analysis of every bad decision Dickie Don't made in the Monday Night Game, as well as some questionable calls from Game 1 (how soon we forget).

If Dennis Green were our coach, we would be 3-2.

Bears Fans Already Knew

From the excellent Buffalo Rumblings blog, comes this (surprisingly) well-written warning from a Bears fan of the ineptitude of one Richard Manuel Jauron.

Here is the money quote:

An offense needs to put up more than 3 points to win...

With insight like that from a Bears fan, it's no surprise that Jauron lasted so long in Chicago. Thanks, Bearsfan.

In Buffalo, of course, we know it takes more than 19 points to win.

Jesus, Even Yahoo! Answers!!

Thinks Jauron is an idiot.

I love that someone was actually looking to the sports experts at Yahoo! Answers to definitively answer the question of how Jauron has a coaching job.

They should have come here. The answer is clear. He's really Bok and is exercising his mind control powers over St. Ralph and Marv:

Jeez, the resemblance is uncanny.

Even Dr. Z Agrees With Me

In today's excellent, trenchant, wine-free column, Dr. Z agrees (basically) with me that DICK JAURON MUST DIE GO.

He takes kind of a circuitous route getting there (something about the defensive coordinator being too conservative (Um, Hey Dr. Z., have you been watching the Bills this year - HE'S DONE THIS ALL YEAR)), but the intent is clear.

To me.


The Petition is Up!

You knew it had to happen. As much as I dislike online petitions (has one actually ever really done anything except annoy people), in a fit of pique and boredom, i created an online petition to oust Dick.

You can find it here. Please sign responsibly.

That is all.



Hello all.

A quick note - I wanted the domain name, but it is already taken and the owner has not responded to my repeated offers for purchase (I guess he is shellshocked into submission from the Jauron in Lions era).

Anyway, this blog is the beginning of a grass roots effort to fire Dick Jauron (and hopefully Brian Fairchild) for their crimes against Bills fandom. To wit:

1. Throwing a bomb on Third and 2 in Game 1 against Denver.
2. Playing soft defense and allowing Denver to move into field goal position in the same game.
3. Playing a ridiculously buttoned-up game against Pittsburgh.
4. Almost blowing Game 4 against the Jets with conservative defensive playcalling.
5. Botching the Monday Night game against the Cowboys in a myriad number of ways.
6. Generally being doofuses.

Come one, come all, Email me with ideas to topple Dick and his staff. Time is short. If we're stuck with this guy beyond this year, I will weep for the future of the Bills.